'Learn to lose/It's easier that way'

For the last ten years, there's been a large place in my brain occupied by the band Barenaked Ladies. I bought one of their CDs when I was 11. I liked their humor; they were accessible; they were nice guys.

It wasn't very long before I really noticed the tension in their music. There was an undertone of despair in every song, barely hidden by quirky word choices and interesting musical arrangements.

Never mind the humor; the songs written by Steven Page really told the truth of the world through his eyes, through all our worst bouts of depression and misery.
One of their first songs, 'Brian Wilson,' is the narrator deciding that he's ended up like the damaged pop star (So I'm lying here, just staring at the ceiling tiles/and I'm thinking about what to think about/Just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile/and I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought).

'Wrap Your Arms Around Me' is seemingly a tale of domestic abuse (Do you believe that we are all innately good/Do you think that you would love me until tomorrow if you could).

'Everything Old is New Again' is a pros-cons argument of simply living (Learn to lose, it's easier that way/We've paid our dues, but we can't make life pay/All across the world, people going mad/In their mother's cars, the kids are feeling sad).

There are songs about cowards and egomaniacs, the ones holding onto the edge and wondering when to let go.
I grew up with the people in the songs, and the people writing them. There was familiarity in Steve Page's voice, and something I soon recognized in myself.
I found out today that after a rough year (can you say 'mid-life crisis'?), Steven Page is quitting the band to pursue other goals.
I wish him the best, and hope he gets back on his feet. I'm worried about the band's new directions; I hope they don't try to replace the missing element, and that they will simply work on their own terms.

But it's been a good 20 years of music. A good ten years for me, while I grew up with them. I can't pretend that they didn't shape my outlook on the world. Especially Steve Page.

Barenaked Ladies - Brian Wilson

Think warm... think warm....

I'm becoming a nasty, irritable, often-mean person, and I think I've discovered the cause.
This office is freezing.
It must be frying the 'nice' brain cells, because all I can do now is gripe and whine. The air conditioning was on last Friday. Let me state that again.
THE AC WAS ON while it was 32 degrees outside.
I can adjust the heat, yes, but it doesn't matter; the lobby is situated in the exact wrong place to receive any heat, while the people who don't want hot air get too much.
Arrrggghh.
I'm going to start wearing my winter parka here at my desk, and see if anything changes.
On a lighter note, something that makes me happy and forget all about the sub-zero temps: a music video that reinforces two things:
Yeah, I do kind of love the 80s.... and I have a weakness for skinny guys with insane hair.



Also: I'm starting to think this is a wheat allergy, not a soy allergy. I'd like someone to just give me a list of what I can and can not eat. That would be great.

"Saving my appetite 'cause I'm waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing"

Day... um... 4 of my soy-free life. I've gone off of all soy products to test whether or not I have an allergy. So far, I've still been having some symptoms, but my skin seems to be recovering. Perhaps I have been having a soy allergy after all, and perhaps it's clearing up....

The worst part (besides no Silk... and no miso... and no Kashi cereal... and no....) is shopping. I was standing in the grocery store's vegetarian/organic section, staring at the shelves in dismay, as imaginary red stickers labeled "NO!" were stamped on everything. Gahh. Grocery shopping nightmare.

I bought some Rice Dream (I will try to love it), but couldn't find any rice "yogurt." (A specialty product, methinks.) I finally found a vegan, soy-free veggie burger, but the fat content has scared me out of using it so far. At least I've gone back to eating fish, so I have another option for protein.

Anyone have any suggestions? I've been reading up on soy-free vegan blogs and such, but I need more help with finding food to take with me to work, out in service, etc.

So, since you've lasted through that rant, here's a music video. You've earned it. (I'm trying to ignore the fact that it takes place in a grocery store. Just the sight of shelves makes me go barmy anymore....)

Nostalgia 2.0

I am horribly nostalgic in a totally different way. While other people open old scrapbooks to induce nostalgia attacks, I just go to YouTube and watch old episodes of The Screen Savers.

Ahhh. Reminds me of being 13, eating Ramen and HotPockets, and wishing I had this new gadget called an iPod. (Those things look so cool!!)

"I am an anarchist"...???

I think it's safe to say that punk is dead.